Meeting Josh, and Christmas season

Series exam progressing, but mind split between Josh's birth in Bangalore and the practice for the programme. The programme was on a Saturday evening, and I got myself a bus ticket to Bangalore for Sunday. Had it not been for my participation in the programme, I could have gone probably a few days earlier. The exams got over and the practices were going well. We also had the sounds and the instruments too for the last practice. This experience was very good for me. Not often had I got to be part of someone else's group. So, I got to learn a lot about stuff. Those moments are cherished.

The day arrived. There was some extensive sound check scheduled for the afternoon. Tennyson, sounds-man for all the major events in Kerala, possibly south-India, and also abroad, was the man for this event too, thanks to Sajan Achen. The event was held in the Sooryaprabha Convention Centre, Mannanthala. As I walked into the hall, I was surprised to see the lavish arrangements, the props on the stage, and the bright feel to it all. That must have cost much. But it was cool. There was this choir that came from Madras, to perform in this event. I forgot who it was, but the choir was named after a prominent film music director. The diocesan bishop, Abraham Mar Paulose Thirumeni was present, along with the vicars of all the parishes in Trivandrum (around ten, I guess). The chief guest for the evening was famous music director for Malayalam films, M. Jayachandran. The Trivandrum Centre Choir was the highlight of the programme, as it was made of 120 persons from all the parishes in the city. Members of the choirs and the Youth Leagues of all the parishes had come together to form this choir. Sajan Achen did a commendable job. They performed two of his songs - Oru Ponthooval Pole and Kurunnu Paithale - both were well received. They also did an English carol, in harmony. The choir from Madras performed some songs that weren't generally heard. They did an average job. I wasn't impressed with their performances, but I thought one or two songs were nice and unique.

The Trivandrum Centre Youth Music Band, of which I became a part (for the programme), performed around five songs. It was a new experience. We did an alright job. The feeling was great, to be part of the programme. I considered it to be a blessing, since there were many other deserving people who could do the job too. That was certainly one of the highlights of my four-year Trivandrum life.

Next day off I was to Bangalore to see Resmi, Geo, Amma, and Dada, and of course, most importantly, the new-born Josh. The post-birth period for Josh was a terrifying period for everybody. He didn't seem healthy, and was constantly being subjected to this certain kind of light, to avoid being taken out into the cold to face the sunlight (which was what is to be required). It was only later that it became revealed that he wasn't getting sufficient milk during the feeding. But once it became clear, certain things were done, and he slowly began to show improvement. That was a major relief for everybody. The moments of worry Amma would sometimes recollect later, when we think about his birth and the days in the hospital. I arrived early morning and took an auto to their place. Amma answered the door with baby Josh in her hand. Everybody was asleep. Josh would be taken care of in turns by everyone those days, and that time of the day was Amma's. He was (freaking) tiny. Resmi was wow! She became another person with the birth and everything, with the look, of course. But she did exceedingly well. Amma was forever with Josh, and Resmi had nothing to be concerned with. Even when at the hospital with the light and everything, Amma was the one with baby Josh. I spent just three days with them. But those three days were simply out-of-the-world days. A new member in the family - father, mother, grand-father, grand-mother, and uncle. I got to see how they clean him up, how they gave him medicines, applied cream and stuff, his baby clothing, and every other thing. I got to carry him couple of times, but he was just too tiny, that I'd preferred to simply see him than carry him. Those days I would wonder how every other being was once upon a time a tiny little baby. Amma would recollect the days when Resmi was born, and then how things were when I was born. I guess I'm a little more than 6 feet, and several years ago I was couple of centimeters long. I got to understand the differences between the times of our births and Josh's birth (not all of it, of course, but some things here and there). It was the day before I left that we began considering names. I'd be asked to find meanings of names that everyone had a liking to. This was a fun exercise. My folks would come up with biblical names and Geo would come up with some incredible (and funny) possibilities if those names were selected. Resmi and Geo would come up with some interesting names I found new world. I had one or two suggestions, which they did appreciate. But somehow, Joshua (the biblical connection) and Josh (the modern touch) came to be considered seriously, and yet again Geo came up with a good joke with Joshua which made us all agree to Josh. Thus, he was named Josh Rajan Geo. That day we had a great time with potential names.

The day to leave came, and I departed on a bus back to Trivandrum. I wished I could stay longer. My seventh semester university exams were scheduled to start a few days after I reached home. I had two exams first, then a ten day gap (for Christmas), and then the rest. My father had to get back to Dubai before the last week of December because of the end-of-year associated work at job. So he came to Trivandrum for a couple of days and then went back to Dubai from there. He arrived in Trivandrum after my first exam, and then left two days after the second exam. Those exams were RAC and GD. I dont' quite remember how it went. Those were major papers when considering the B.Tech. as a whole. Those were the days when the Youth League members would go for carol-rounds. The exams prevented me from going, and I was so looking forward to go after the GD exam. Carol-rounds are a very happening season for me. There's just so much fun. But that night, Dada wanted to take Babupapa and family, Shajipapi and family, and Dubai Ammachi and family out for dinner. I figured I should go with them. Sanichachan didn't come along with us, because he opted to go for the carol-rounds. I missed that night's fun. Dada left the next day (if I'm right); I'm not sure if I missed that night's fun too. But I did make it for the next few days' rounds. That was incredible! We'd been singing the same set of songs the last three seasons and I did get bored with it (like in season two itself) but the fun and joy compensated for that well. It was two years back when Linda brought her friend, Gibin (CET 2009), to our church to teach us some songs for the rounds. He did a good job, and those songs were very pleasant. It took us some time to gel with the songs, but at the end of that year, those songs were the only things that we knew. The same thing we'd repeat uptil the season in 2008. I didn't need the song sheet to sing from. I felt really happy in being able to sing alongwith the guys - Liben, Jerin, Nelvin, Nithin, Robin, Rohan, Ron, Renosh, Sam, Samchayan Sanichachan, Betsy, Linda, Sairachech, and everybody else. Those days of merrymaking also will be greatly cherished. Some of us were aware that we couldn't repeat this again, may be ever. I think we went to Kesavadasapuram and Mannanthala the days when I was there. It was during my exams when the group came to my house when Dada was there. I didn't think they did well, but it was alright. We made up for that after my arrival.

One of those days I went for the carol service at the Nanthencode parish. I'd been wanting to hear their carols and see how differently they did it. I went alongwith Sanichachan and we arrived just in time and yet got to sit (comfortably) right behind the chief guest for the evening (it was a funny little thing, we doing that; the church was actually filled with people and we saw quite a number wait outside since there was no place to sit). The evening began with a song performed by the tiny tots of the parish, and that was incredibly cute. Jyothis accompanied them on the keyboard, and he did a good job of it. The choir was trained by Sajan Achen for his songs, Ritchie (an old choir master of the CSI church (who once taught the choir in the Paruthipparra parish when my father was its member, several years back)), and another person (I don't know his name). The latter two dealt with harmony singing. They had a good mix of songs, and I was impressed with the way they held the programme. I remember that their soprano was just incredible and their combination with the alto was wonderful. Sajan Achen had Tennyson do the sounds for the evening. It went well. I also decided to not attend the Paruthipparra parish's carol service (a few days later), since I didn't seem to be interested with what it had to offer. I knew that my hatred for the choir was also the reason for not attending. I instead headed to the Peroorkada parish, for their carol service, which was scheduled on the same day. The carol service was disastrous. The sounds were horrible, the singing was horrible, and the arrangements were horrible (I probably forgot some other things that were horrible too). There was probably just one song that I did like. Sanichachan and I were glad we had to leave before it ended to catch up with the carol rounds that night. I kinda felt bad for Abraham Joshua uncle (the choir master there), since I know the man and have had the opportunity to work together with him earlier. A few days later for a marriage that was conducted at the Peroorkada parish (Amma's relative, I forgot who it was, but they were from the States, and K M Raju sir, my principal, was also there), we met up and he asked me what I thought about the carol service. I remember trying to mildly convey what I felt. He seemed down about the whole thing.

The Christmas season came to a close. The last few days of the year I worked on the preparation for the rest of the university exams.

Seminar, the Youth Band, birth of my nephew

This entry comes after a long break. I kinda feel the lack of order in the history.

November 2008 was the month that I delivered for the first time a seminar - in front of the class, and it included the Mechanical Engg. staff too. The topic was Carbon Capture and Storage (CCS), a very relevant topic with respect to the potential it possessed for mitigating the degradation of the environment by human activity. Mechanical engineers had much role to play in this field. But, comparisons with the rest of the class' topics revealed this one to be considered lightweight. But anyways, I believe adequate and possible efforts were taken in the run up to the presentation, and guidance seeked (that's not a word, is it?) from the staff. It seemed alright. And then the time arrived. The presentation went well, I suppose, and the questions were pleasantly answered, in the best manner. At the end of it, there certainly was a sense of achievement, since this was something of a dreadful thing for us all - the presentation, the time constraint, the questions, its answers, and the like, quite tense.

There were few very remarkable presentations, like the ones taken by Anshad (was it something to do with air-vehicles?) and Deepak (noise-suppressors?). There were plenty of moments filled with fun too, like the seminar taken by Achyuth (plant management), and some others. I don't seem to recollect them all, or the details, but those were real crazy Tuesday afternoons. At the end of the term, when the sessional marks were published (December 2008), it was known that I top-scored in the seminar with 91 marks. That was very pleasing to know. God's grace.

IELTS coaching began and it was going pretty alright. Realization that Ms Divya was indeed a qualified trainer occurs.

Earlier, in August, Sajan Achen (then Nanthencode vicar, and previously, DSMC-director), had given birth to the concept of the Trivandrum Youth Band, being the then president of the Trivandrum Centre Youth League. It was a novel idea. The band would take up the singing sessions of centre meetings and could involve in other Youth League activities (I supposed). I came to know that, being a group for the centre, it would have participation from the parishes that made the centre. I was told that the group requires not more than two from each parish, and an ideal total number could be 10 or so. Ezra (SCT 2011), Youth League member of Peroorkada parish and (I think) then secretary of the Centre, had called me up, to get me involved. The timing couldn't have been more bad. (This seems to be a very general occurance in my life actually: when it comes - all together, and when it doesn't - idleness.) Ezra wanted that Ann and I attend practices every Sunday with the rest of the group for a one-day conference, or something like that, scheduled for later in the year. I was disappointed that my busy schedule in the months of August and September ruled me out of the practices, and hence, the band. I spent a considerable time on the phone with Ezra convincing him of my inability to make it. I knew this was a bad loss. The group had some other talented people from the Nanthencode parish, as well as the talented Kripa (senior at college) and Neha from the Pattoor parish (both, children of Manoj uncle, one of the choir masters of the Dubai parish).

I needed a solution to this dilemma. Ann was game for the band. Half the solution. The practices for the Youth Fest were picking up pace, and I found thinking about the solution to be tough. I'd agreed with Ezra to send some one else from my parish. I spoke to Sanichachan, and sincerely wanted him to take this opportunity. But his medley's progress (of which I was significantly related) was not substantial, and work commitments and stuff were time-consuming. So Sanichachan ruled out. I turned to Anish (senior at college, and piano-whiz) and asked him to take this up. But he wouldn't. (Interestingly, all the above mentioned did form part of the medley.) The person had to be musically inclined, and the people I had contact with, just couldn't do it. Although he is the next person I thought of in that situation, he certainly was an apt choice - Sam Kurishadi - then in 9th grade, St. Thomas, and fits the musical bill. Informed him of the requirement, and assigned him to the task. Thus, Ann and Sam represented the Paruthiparra parish. He also was part of the group (and was quite a tenor) that performed the harmony for the Talent Fest (my event). Practices for the centre's programme progressed slowly. I just got few inputs on that from Ann and Sam. But after the Talent Fest, I somehow never thought about that.

Back to November. The centre's meeting was happening on a Saturday evening. It was the Marthoma Youth Summit, and particularly was called the First Summit @ Nanthencode. Joe Joseph Achen was invited to give a presentation. The Trivandrum Centre Youth Music Band was unveiled at the beginning, and they led us through the singing. They did a very impressive job, both with the song selection as well as its handling. There was a great deal of quality in everything that I saw that evening. Too bad I had to leave when Achen was about to begin his presentation. (I was expected to play the keyboard for the evening service in my parish. Those opportunities came by rarely those weeks, possibly because of me not attending the choir practices, and the Christmas carol practices, and those were far spaced too, the opportunities, ie..) I remember getting back that night and entered a response on the Summit's webpage. That night I reflected upon the opportunity that had come my way, thanks to God. Not many people have opportunities come their way, just like that. I cannot take credit for that happening. I felt heavy and down, because of that. It wasn't pleasant. I kept thinking, how things could have been if I could partake in those activities too. But, I kinda believe, they did the job well, and was truly happy for them. I guess, I even thought of being considered for a second summit which was being planned after three months or so. That was something to look forward to.

Sajan Achen's other initiative, the Trivandrum Centre Choir's practices were happening at regular intervals for the big night - God's Own Night - scheduled the first weekend of December. Members of my parish's Youth League were taking part in it. It was after one of my tuition classes near Statue (for RAC / GD, at Balakrishnan sir's) that I happened to see a missed call from Kripa. I was surprised at seeing her call. Called her back. She was calling on behalf of the band, and they wanted to pull off few songs for God's Own Night. They wanted me to take part in it. This time too, there were some difficulties. Resmi's due, my series exam, and the event happened to be scheduled nearby. I tried real hard to not make this hard on me, by avoiding what can be avoided - which again turned out to be, me not being part of the band. (When it comes, all together.) But this time, Kripa did insist. She made a couple of phone calls just so that I could agree to be a part of them. When it came to that, I had to give in. I went for their first practice one day directly after the tuition at Statue; that day it rained, I remember, not that it was of any consequence, but just. We had a productive session, Aswin Abraham Thomas (Nanthencode, lead man), Kripa (lead girl), Ann, Sneha-chech (both, alto), Jeevan (Sajan Achen's son), and I. I was the only newcomer to the group and the size of the group was reduced, compared to the time at the unveiling (I'm assuming for quality's sake). Aswin's friends, Jyothis (keyboard), Robbins (bass), and Alex (drums) were also taking part in this. But they showed up on the last practice. There was one unknown song (Its Christmas Time), and the others familiar. I got to know the people better through this outing. Jeevan (then grade 11) and I sang the same part, and I was very fond of him, and his singing. I guess we gelled rather well. Sajan Achen dropped in to check on us. He seemed tense, but it wasn't bad. We had two more practices, of which one was with the sounds and everything. It was shaping up well.

Resmi's due was sometime at the end of the first week of December. My folks had booked a ticket to Bangalore on 2nd. I wanted that I go to Bangalore after my series exam, by which time it would have been the end of the week, and I'd be there to see baby Josh (of course, the name was decided on later). But God executed a varied plan. Josh arrived November 30th. Knowing that, my parents boarded an earlier flight, on 1st. My series were scheduled during the days to follow; and I couldn't have the excitement in all its color. Sanichachan happened to be in Bangalore with Vini and Sini-chech at the time. It was his text - 'Aap mama ban gaye' that broke the news. I was preparing for the exam then, and my folks ring me up to update on the situation, and I spent the next hour or so informing all the relatives I could over the phone. That was fun, introducing nephew Josh to the world.

Despair

October 2008 began on a note I had uptil then never experienced. I went through a week-long mix of sadness, loneliness, disappointment, anger (mild), detachment, dejection, and the like. I realized a lack of sense of purpose and initiative for any kind of work. Productivity hit an all time low. I knew all the while that post-Talent Eve 2008, I would go down into some kind of a mess; but never would I have guessed the intensity with which it hit me. You know, there was always some activity or the other which I immersed myself into during the weeks leading up to the the Talent Eve. Sometimes during those days, I would alert myself to find something significant to direct my energies so that the switch would not be bad. But I guess it was indeed a big deal to me (as it certainly was for many others also).

I did have the Pooja-holidays to look forward to. Earlier in some committee of the Youth League, I learnt of a picnic that was being scheduled for the Pooja-holidays. That would have been exciting. But somehow it got cancelled. I think there was some other activity lined up for the holidays instead. Also, after the Onam holidays, guys in my class started planning out a trip for the Pooja-holidays. I was looking forward to that too. Kiran (my classmate) was the man behind the trip. There was a division in opinion within the class. The plan was to cut (bunk) class a day or two before the holidays. There were some who couldn't join the group. So there would be a problem of some getting attendance and the others not. I so wanted to go as this could probably be the last time. By the end of September, there were around ten or so who joined the group. I wanted that everybody join and that we go together. But there were quite a lot who couldn't commit, which was disappointing. I decided to not go only because there were a lot who couldn't go due to various reasons. I told myself that the guys would have a good time and everything, but it wouldn't be as much as when the 52 of us go together. There were twenty-three of them eventually that made the trip. They came to known as Kirru's (Kiran's) 23. I think the places they went to included Ooty and Wayanad. They had a blast. We heard of it when we called them up on their trip. The pics they took also were cool. The rest of us wished we'd too had been with them.

Decision on higher studies (happened somehow) was taking shape. UK was the destination, and I needed to appear for the IELTS as part of the requirements. Headed to the Chopra's, Chalakuzhi. Ms Divya attended to me, and was very nice to me. I don't think I thought the IELTS to be a simple affair, which explained why I joined a 10-session preparatory class with her. The average performance in the mock test (which I think was fabricated) aided the decision. I wanted to appear in December for the test, and have my application(s) sent out in January. Classes began November. I started my alliance with the Chopra's in pursuit of the higher-studies goal.

Towards the end of the month (I guess) I had planned on conducting the S5 Moscars, which couldn't have been conducted before the S5 university-exams (should have been conducted ideally May-June). Sandeep wanted the certificate distribution of the (er., his) Mech Open to be held in conjunction with the S5 Moscars. So, this was to happen someday after class, of course. But on that day, during the lunch break, there was a fight that involved few of my classmates who were in the Civil Engg. building. It became ugly, as anyone would have expected, since it involved the senior-most Mechanical Engg. batch. Although we agreed that we got some, we certainly did give them more than they asked for. Mar Baselios College of Engg. and Tech. haven't witnessed much fights (I'm guessing, in our time, possibly, the number was less than 4). There was a heavy feeling during the hours after the lunch break. Sensing the possibility of the resuming of the fight at the end of the day, the Mechanical Engg. staff immediately diffused any kind of negative incidents. That was a precautionary step. The conducting of the Moscars was dropped, obviously. As I exited the campus, I saw coming towards the college gate the Civil Engg. guys along with what I thought to be goondas. One among them, the father of the main hit guy, on seeing Sabari (a classmate, and one of the lead guys in the fight) exploded. I'd never seen anybody go as wild. But even in the midst of this, Sabari seemed composed. This was a moment when all hell should have lost control. The tense situation was somehow put off (don't know how). Sabari did give back an adequate amount of reactionary dialogue. [One too many times, I'd seen a Mohanlal in Sabari. Not just a certain kind, but many kinds that he'd portrayed in the movies.] A day or two later, during the suspension meetings, I got to meet Sabari, and I expressed how amazed I was at his ability to handle that situation. I suppose it must have been his past and the experiences he's had. Few of the involved were suspended and some given lighter penalties. This incident told us to take greater caution in the future. Being final year students, it came hard on us. The issues died away somehow.

I'm assuming there wasn't anything else that mattered to be entered here. But the fight and the ensuing events were certainly stuff that will live with us.

Practicing fun

September 2008 was a terrific month for me.

Let's start on the academic front (that which I left out for my August 2008 blog). We had few newcomers to the college and some who weren't all that new who were taking subjects for us this semester. Joby Yeldo (SCT 2008 passout) and O. Rahul (TKM 2008 passout) were taking Refrigeration and Air-Conditioning. This was the beginning of a very different yet cool students-teacher relationship. Gas Dynamics, one of the toughest subjects in our four-year period, taken by the tough Rajesh sir, whom we refer to as Puththanpaalam Rajesh (who is a highly rated criminal in South India, and has a similar frame as our sir's). Because of him, we weren't overly concerned how it would go for us. There was a great deal of trust and respect for him. Design of Machine Elements -II was taken by Vinod sir. He breathed new life to this subject that formed a continuation to the first part that was taken by Srikanth sir in the previous semester. It felt good to be in his class. Metrology and Instrumentation was taken by our staff-advisor, Pradeep sir. He was ok. A part of this subject was taken by the 6-foot-4-inches tall, Krishnan sir (SCT 2008 passout). This was the coolest person who taught us. He'd always need a tag to pass off as a college-lecturer; for otherwise, not a soul could guess. It's got to be the Thironthoram slang that nailed it. Industrial Engineering was taken by the ever-tireless Venkatesh sir. His hours were spent very efficiently, by him as well as by us. He would take class as though the world would come to an end in a definite amount of time. And we used our time in all sorts of activity, of course, nothing dealing with the subject. We had an elective this semester. Half the class opted for the Marketing paper (Venkatesh sir again) and the rest half (in which I fell) took Plant Engineering and Management which was taken by Remil sir. He kept saying there isn't much learning to do and that he could finish teaching real quick. At the end of the semester we realized that it wasn't as simple as he made it out to be. But it was alright.

Late August we were given instructions on the conduct of the seminars we had to take. The topic could be anything which would interest a mechanical engineer. We were encouraged to take up new innovations and inventions as these could enlighten our faculty as well as inspire us. Luckily for us, the order to be followed was the class roll numbers. In other branches, we came to know that they had lots to decide who'd take the seminar. With our arrangement, there was always a sense of definiteness for all. We had seminars every Tuesday. Around five or six got to present their topics each session. This enabled us to determine the approximate date when each of us would have to present our topics. Another advantage we enjoyed was that we needed to get approved our topic a week in advance of our presentation day.

So we took it real easy. My number was 34, which meant that my turn would come up some time in November. But I didn't want to worry about the seminar then. So I thought of figuring it out for me during the Onam break. I spent some time then searching for some topic that interested me. I came across many related to the automobile industry, but nothing I felt much about. Value engineering seemed interesting. It happens to deal with management aspects. Although not technical in nature, management certainly falls into a mechanical engineer's jurisdiction. I seemed on the path to settling for this. I was hoping to seek Venkatesh sir's guidance in preparing for the presentation.

Classes reopened after the break and the first batch came up for the presentation. It was a fresh experience for the rest of us, as we just sat in the conference hall and heard out our own classmates go up and take seminars on interesting topics. It was new to them too. But they did a fine job. What made it exciting was the question-time that followed each presentation. I think Ajit I. (one hell-of-a-guy, classmate) blew it off completely when he answered Raju sir's (K. M. Raju, the then head of the mechanical department and principal of the college) questions. Every member of the teaching staff would attend our seminars if they were free. The faculty would be seated in the front row of the conference room, and us guys in the the rows behind. It was surprising how well many of the guys took the seminars.

It was during one of those days when Jagajith (a good friend and classmate), if I'm right, pointed out to me that value engineering (the topic I had selected for my seminar) is part of the Industrial Engineering subject, taken by Venkatesh sir himself. There was a clause in the whole seminar thing: the topic should not have anything to do with the syllabus we followed. The funny thing was, value engineering was taught in class a day or two before the Onam break. I was glad that this became known to me then. Search for a new topic was on.

It was some time just before the Onam holidays or so when our project group went to the VSSC library to seek a one-month pass (or anything longer than a one-day pass) to use its facilities. This way we could utilise our Onam holidays in preparing the literature survey of the project report. We were looking forward to it. I don't know if it was fortunate or unfortunate, but it didn't turn out to be so. On reaching the PRO, we were told that they were not authorised to issue such passes, and that we needed to get the clearance directly from the librarian. We spent quite some time at the office. Then we were allowed to enter the library and tried to get things sorted out. It was wrong of them to have done this to us, because I had been told by the people at the front desk of the library (who had consulted with the librarian) that the one-month pass can be issued if processing is done correctly. On enquiring with the front desk this time, they informed us of a new system which allows only those who were doing their project at the VSSC and those who have a direct relationship with a VSSC-employee would be issued such passes. We were told that we could continue availing the one-day pass system but in moderation.

So we discussed it out and decided that we use that day completely in collecting the possible amount of information and then returning later if a need arises. Luckily, on this visit, we stumbled upon a book that dealt specifically with the material we had to handle - Nimonic 263, a high-temperature resistant Nickel alloy. The VSSC library had certain policies. One of the tougher ones was - because the library won't allow the taking of any of its books - the photocopying of a page costs five times what it costs in a regular shop / library. This was a measure to ensure that the practice is discouraged and in the process, the books remain in good condition for longer durations. We didn't have another choice, so we opted for the photocopying. It took quite some time, and certainly quite some money too. We thought, this way, we would have all the information needed and just had to work with it. A return would not be required. This time when we left the library, it felt different - maybe because we didn't see ourselves returning or possibly the sense of achievement was overwhelming. That was the progress we made on the project front.

For quite some time now (over the past few months) I had been collecting information from the web on the various universities offering Masters programmes in the US and the UK. It was an eye-opener when I came to know the number of universities that offer the course in both countries. Some of them looked very exciting. Deciding which side of the Atlantic had not yet been made. Cost, duration of the course, and uncertainties in procuring visa, made the US less favoured. Quality of education and value of the degree was certainly US' strong-points, but the UK wasn't bad at all, in those respects. My mother had slight apprehensions in sending me to the US. I guess these caused a shift in my thinking.

Now onto the Talent Evening. During one of the earliest practices for the medley (I think at Ann's), Betsy (a good friend and batchmate at college) had enquired which song it would be for the group (the item I took responsibility for). That's when it dawned on me that the song had not yet been decided upon; the first practice for the group was scheduled for a day or two later. For the first practice, there was quite a number that turned up. As usual, the girls outnumbered the boys. This was a major problem in the Paruthipara Youth League. participation from the boys side was never strong. There always was a need for pushing them forward, which was tiring sometimes. Before we gathered together at the church for the practice, I was being asked again about the song. Because I hadn't figured it out still, and also since the group was inexperienced to do the kind of thing it was to do, I thought of indulging in a session entirely on exercises.

I had made it a point to pray before and at the end of every practice (by a different person), so that the group develops a sense of togetherness and belonging, and that God's grace is needed in everything we set out to do. After the first prayer that day, I broke the news that we wouldn't be getting into the song that day. There were instant voices of questioning. The thing was, when my mother had visited me in June, she had given me two songs and said that they were very nice ones and that I could present it on some occasion. Both were songs that I didn't know. So I had to play it out and see if one was better than the other. I guess, I didn't have the time for that before the first practice. I figured out one of them and it seemed good. Later, during one of our medley practices, i asked Anish to play out both songs for me. The one I had figured out earlier seemed better than the other one when he played them. So deciding was made easy. The song was 'Paapikkai Ullorurrava'.

The task on day one was simple and primary in nature - get the group to go through a range of exercises and in the process separate them in to the four parts of the harmony. There were just around five of them or so who were used to singing in the Church-choir. The rest had no such history. So often, it would not be a pleasant affair.

Certain elements (read Betsy and Linda (a nice friend and batchmate LBS, but not that nice when in the group)) in the group made life miserable for me. In a fun way, of course. But some times it just exposed me. Uptil then, I had always seen Ann singing the alto, but this time I wanted her to sing the melody. Eventually, it turned out that the alto included a bunch of girls with no one who could lead from the front. So they needed an extra amount of care (read, in the right sense). One of those early days, Tina had shown up for practice. Now, similar to Ann's case, Tina was always associated to the soprano. But because of the lacking of a leading voice, I decided on putting her to the task of handling the alto. Not the best of decisions, but an alright one. We could certainly count on her on leading the alto.

The guys were simpler to handle other than their talking we had to up to. The tenor was handled by Anish, and they seemed alright, except for the few 'vellhees' that fell off Liben's mouth. Sam and Jerin were the others. The bass was my portfolio. I had a good input from the choir's assets in Jerry, Linoy, and Jithin, along with great support from Rohan and Nelvin.

We had few practices before the Onam break and the rest after. It was totally fun. It was a big learning experience for all of us, especially me. I had a very good time teaching the group and spending time with them. There were many things I had picked up from the nearly month-long journey. Managing the group and the time that we had was the challenge that had to be faced. By God's grace, both was made possible. Progress in the harmonising was not happening for quite some time - something that was expected. But it was just a matter of time when things would fall in place. And it did just that. The group didn't fail me and we kept building on that.

After the Onam break, many other events' practices took pace. The medley's practice also happened simultaneously. This too showed very little progress for a long time. We required Anish to figure out for us the harmony of all the songs, which he did very well using his Sibelius software. Figuring out our parts itself was tiring. As in every harmony, the melody singers are the lead singers, and the song is carried by them. Betsy and Soumya (friend, my junior at college) were not easy to handle. Sanichachan and I spent a considerable amount of time on getting them to sing correctly, and then to sing well. Sanichachan wanted the medley to open with Joel (Ginuchan's (relative, great supporter of Youth League's activities) son) singing and the rest of us humming. That too was not an easy task. I did my bit by figuring out the scales of each of the songs, the switches, the instrumentation, and the like. I felt all our combining sessions were fun and hilarious. Most of them, probably, all of them, were struggles. Each of our parts needed great deal of concentration. If we lost it anywhere in the act, we'd have to struggle to get on quickly. But we certainly did get our act together on the eve of the big day. It was relieving.

All the events were making progress a week towards the big day. The group, medley, margam-kali, skits, and every other thing. It was then that I saw the main skit of the programme. Sairachech and Samchan (friends and great assets of the Youth League), gave excellent performances in their roles in the skit. There some totally funny situations during the practices. We all had fun watching them. Frustration began to set in on the day of the rehearsal with the sound system. Sam (good friend and Ann's brother) had come in from Bangalore, and had agreed to help with the sounds. That was quite an evening. There were lots of people in the church and a lot of mics, wires and associated stuff. There was a lot time spent waiting for the sounds to be set. I found it unproductive, and had a feeling of uncertainty with regard to the sounds on the big day. You know, there was a great deal of hard work put in during the practices, and if the sounds don't turn out to be alright, then however well you perform, the output just won't be well received. I was heavily concerned with that.

The day had come. It was a much anticipated day for the Youth League. The sound system was to be set up after noon and the medley and the group were scheduled to have a sound check two-hours before the start. Unfortunately, there were just few from the group. So that didn't go well. We did have one for the medley. That was alright. The sounds were then just being figured out. I was well aware that we wouldn't have certainty in terms of balancing and blending voices and parts. I came back home, took a shower, and then laid back and listened to some good music. I was in need of some unwinding. The stress had taken quite a toll. I didn't allow thoughts of the evening to creep up. Then I prayed for a while. Human efforts all a waste if God's grace is not seeked. There were several things that we couldn't control. I wanted that all the programmes for the evening were well done and well received, without glitches. There was always a part of me worrying about the failure of power during a performance, especially the group's song and the medley. We had the instrumentation programmed. It was a potentially awkward situation to be in. But, I guess, the calmness that I instilled within me during the prayer helped a lot.

The Talent Evening was on. The events progressed well. Paulose Thirumeni graced the event with his presence. There were Achens from neighbouring parishes too, including Sajan achen (a well-wisher, I think of him as one who works through music). The song was sung well. About the output, well, I was certainly not pleased. The group, of course, did fine; which was a big deal to me. It was a collective effort and the achievement is theirs. Some of them sensed my not being pleased. But anyway, they were relieved of the tension to sing their parts in front of the packed-church. We moved on. I happened to meet Sajan achen outside in between. He had to leave. He told me of a programme for Christmas that he wanted to do, wherein all the choirs from the Mar Thoma parishes in Trivandrum would get-together and form a big choir and present few songs. He asked me to be a part of it. It was an intereseting prospect. But I did mention to him of my uncertainty to be a part of the plan. This was because the programme was scheduled at the same time as Resmi's delivery. Also, if ever my exams were then, then that would be a problem. But any way, I did agree to see if I could be a part of this event.

The evening was still on. The dances went fine. The guys' drama was going alright. The medley was coming up. Things were going well. We all had a gooding feeling about how everything was shaping up. The medley went much better than we feared, and it was well received too. We felt the audience's appreciation. That was nice. It was a good feeling.

I know I'm not able to completely express the joy of involvement we experienced together, but it certainly was enriching for us all. I remember allowing myself to wonder (during the evening) if we could go through the same thing all over again for the 2009 edition. Many of us would not be around as we'd probably have left the place.

Song scouts

I forgot to mention how exciting were the early days with my new TV. Two important events I had the opportunity to watch live. The first was the Euro 2008 final between Germany and Spain. I sat up to watch the game but then soon realised that watching a football-match was not my cup of tea, especially when I was tired. I actually slept off some time before half-time. That was totally lame. I anyway caught up on the game in the news later. The second was the more significant. Rafael Nadal vs Roger Federer - Wimbledon Final. I am a fan of Roger Federer, and although I do not wish to glorify people easily, I didn't mind agreeing with the way the media did so of him, prefixing His Highness/Greatness to his name. I've kinda always believed that Roger Federer was a good man. There was a great deal of respect for the man and his game. I sat through the whole match that night and didn't fall asleep. I just couldn't, for it was quite a match. Rafael Nadal played excellently and deserved the win. I felt sorry for Roger that he'd lost what belonged to him to a great foe on the court. It certainly must have been a very difficult time for him. I think the failure occurred at a good time in his career, for if it had happened earlier, I'm guessing he wouldn't have achieved what he has in present time. To me he is without doubt the best player the tennis world has seen by judging under several criteria, and not simply the wins and the slams. Watching the game on the big screen was a very new and exciting moment for me, and I enjoyed every moment of it, except the moments when Roger lost.

It was on 6th August that Aimee was born. Aimee is the baby girl of Vijoochan (my cousin), and Lesliemmama (his wife). For the birth, Suamma (my aunty) and Kummochachan (her husband) had gone to Bangalore. It was a very happy moment for them and also for us. Resmi was mid-way in her pregnancy at this point. Before leaving, Amma had asked me to not inform Resmi about the Neethu-episode. But I did around this time, I guess. She too was shocked and everything.

My sixth semester exams were still happening in the month of August. I had two exams (I guess) as per schedule and another one, the one that had been postponed. All went pretty well, I did feel better than how I felt after my fifth semester exams. That was good. I thank God for that.

I think it was some time mid-August when we had our Youth League's retreat to the Vyojana Mandiram. Ann and I were asked to take care of all the singing sessions. That we did, and had a good time. Actually it was a good outing for us all. The bus trip, the ice-breaking, the singing (action songs), the interesting class (George Behanan), and the interactions among ourselves as well as with the inmates of the place, all of it was very good and lively. It was nice to meet the inmates and share the time with them and sing along with them. After that we went to the Neyyar Dam, walked all over the place, played some ball, and the time was up. The Achens had to return back because of the evening service in Church. That was disappointing, we were just getting into the game.

Our seventh semester classes began towards the end of August. Final-year. Super-seniors. Responsibilities. We had no considerations for any of these. It was as though these had no bearing on us and it was like any other day to us all. We were relieved and excited that the exams were done with and back to classes. I had always had a great time in class with my classmates. There was always a lot to laugh about and do all sorts of stuff. It was funny actually that we all hated to go to class, but while in it, we simply forgot about that and enjoyed ourselves.

I guess, after my solo visit to the VSSC library, our project group visited the library a couple of times during July and August (with the letter from our principal). But we didn't use it during those visits because we just needed one-day passes then. We thought we'd use the letter to apply for a longer pass in time for our Onam-break. It was during the first visit as a group that I discovered that there were three more floors above the one I had visited on my own, with lots and lots of books, just like in the ground floor. The scans that we made during those visits were totally exhaustive. Actually, the sight of the books and their titles itself wore me off. We made very little progress those days. The visits didn't seem to do the good we so hoped it would.

Some time then there was a committee in the Youth League to discuss about the Talent Fest. This was its birth. The beginning of a special period for me. This was to be an event wherein the Church is invited to an evening of celebration of the talents of its youth. So there was a lot of discussion on the kind of programs that can be pulled off and the like. There was a good exchange of ideas. I signed up to present a song with a group of members, not knowing what it is that I was doing. Simply raised my hand. I also informed the committee that Sanichachan would take care of another item (medley), and that I'd arrange for an instrumental piece with Anish (a friend and good pianist).

Sanichachan's medley item was what we began work on immediately. There was discussions among us as to who should join us to handle the melody (soprano). Sanichachan wanted something like a quartet, a small group. Since alto would be Ann's, bass myself (the truth is, there wasn't anybody else with a good voice we could have, so the settlement), and Anish and Sanichachan with tenor. We agreed upon Soumya but we knew that she couldn't carry upon the melody all by herself. So we then considered Betsy (another beginning). We didn't want to get into it hastily so we discussed some more on her joining. We eventually thought we'll give it a try. Not the best decision, I'd say. But nevertheless, quite a journey, I'll admit.

I think our first gathering was at Ann's one evening. Sanichachan would arrive late and asked me to handle the time. We started off on a major laugh that day involving Betsy. It was a very good one. (There was a good reversal too, on me, by her, sometime later.) At the end of the first two or three sessions we had with the group, it became clear to Sanichachan and I that we have a major task ahead of us.

We still weren't sure of the songs for the medley. Actually that didn't matter because it was certain to us that we needed to undergo a lot of excercises to make oursleves (Betsy and Soumya specially) fit enough to carry the songs. But Sanichachan and I did do some song searching. He came up with suggestions and I tried to see how it would fit into the scheme of things. Slowly, things started to fall in place. Sanichachan developed a plan for the whole item.

Shock, disbelief, upset, irreversibilitty

The first thing Amma and I did together in the month of July was visit my grandmother. It was a fun outing for us both. Ammachi is always fun to visit as she'll constantly try to feed you with all sorts of goodies. Its also fun to listen to the things she says. We had a good time.

The next day was the day that shook me up. Amma had asked me to go over to Shajipapi's (my uncle living few steps away) and give some of the stuff that she'd bought them. At the door, when I had given the bag containing the stuff to Shylammama (his wife), I noticed she was not her usual self. Shajipapi called out to me from inside and asked me to get my mother. He too seemed disturbed. I rushed back and brought Amma along. Shylammama broke the news to us - Neethu (their daughter) had run away with this guy she met couple of months back. This happened the day after my birthday get-together at my place. It had been three days when we were informed. They tried to inform earlier but couldn't get us. She broke down crying heavily and both Amma and I was shocked with disbelief. This was a major upset and had deep consequences and affected many things and persons on multiple levels. I hadn't seen Shajipapi in this state ever before, so lost. We then came to understand many things about this that my other relatives knew of earlier. The relationship had come to light quite early in its progress. What disappointed us all was that the guy was of another faith. Attempts were made by several persons and on different levels to put sense into the girl's head. Early June it seemed that the efforts were paying off, and she agreed to bring an end to the relationship. But that was just so that she could get everyone to stop forcing her to end the relationship. The guy worked in a small shop and he was my age.

Efforts were then made to stop them from registering their union. Those days were real intense with lots of emotions and thinking of ways to stop them and consequences of various actions. Nobody had seen her since the day she took off. Her parents were deeply worried. Those days I heard stories of girls who'd run away in similar cases return back after a couple of days because things didn't turn out the way they'd hoped. So that helped slightly. We just hoped and prayed that Neethu would also return back that way. She was just too dear to us all, a girl with immense energy and potential. Because of this, it became clear that her education will be affected and that there's a possibility that she wouldn't complete her B.Com. That was sad, as she was academically alright and the degree would have been significant.

There was then an episode that occurred in a police station where persons from both sides were present. Amma had accompanied Shylammama to the station. That was when they had seen Neethu after the run-away. She made it clear that she didn't want to return. Their union was legalised. Nothing could be done. She made her decision clear and she was legally of age. We had to return back. The family had to deal with many things because of the incident, the toughest being the humiliation that this brought on. It certainly was tough. Their only child, their daughter, had removed herself from her family, from her home, and gone to some guy she met couple of months back.

I've thought about the whole incident for quite some time since then. It's certain she was thinking - it's just that the thinking was directed along a path that seemed to her to be more positive and promising than the life she had lived uptill then. She could have been influenced to think about the better life she could have with him, which her family (she must have believed) was incapable of offering. I'm also certain that I wouldn't know what was going on in her from the very beginning till after the run-away; only she'd know. Several elements work in varying degrees to cause a person to behave in a certain manner. These can include even events and incidents in a person's life that occurred earlier, that we wouldn't suspect had a role in causing this. I'm just saying that laying the entire blame on her for her actions will not prevent similar incidents from occurring.

This incident is their story now. They're dealing with it now. Few months after the run-away if someone asked her if she thought it all alright, my guess is she'd actually feel sorry for betraying her parents and wished if there was some way to reverse the events. She got into a mess that getting out of would result in a greater mess. A helpless situation. Irreversible. This may be a reason why the story goes on. May also be why it is preferred to go on this way.

On other stuff : Amma was leaving second week of July back to Dubai. Time flew away like crazy. Most of the time we were concerned about the run-away. I feared the dreaded-void that could be created when someone you love (in this case, Amma) leaves. Experiences from the past have taught that this void is a terrible period for me. There is a great deal of loneliness because of the absence of the loved-person. This is an unproductive period. The void to me is also a costly affair. Idling occurs and I hate to have spent time with nothing substantial done. I even feel guilty because of it. Why I feared it is because ten days after the leaving of my mother starts my sixth-semester exams. And if a void sets in before these exams (like the previous time in January 2008), then that would reflect terribly on the results. That is certainly undesirable.

I set myself up to prevent the possibility of the dreaded. While I was at it, I was informed about the retreat for committee members of all organizations of my parish, and that my participation was required. I agreed because it allowed me to take my mind off other things for a while. It was an interesting outing for me. Every organization had to present an item. So the Youth League decided to pull off a skit. It was totally lame. But what made it interesting was the decision to cast me as the priest in the skit. That was even lamer. Kindly note that I have nil experience in acting (on stage). That my abilities in conversing in Malayalam leaves a lot to be desired was apparently ignored made things more interesting. I screwed up quite well and had people come up to me to congratulate me on my unconventional and weird performance. We had a major laugh on that one. The association with the Youth League was going to be a strong one, that will have a lasting effect on me. This outing marked the beginning of fun times with the Youth League.

I then got down to the serious business of exam preps. I had it going for me because the previous semester had it tough and bad on me and my GPA suffered. So I had to produce much better results. So there was genuine preparations. I thank God for all the blessings he's given for causing my preparations to progress without any hitches. The first paper got postponed to the following month. But the remaining occurred as scheduled. That was good. I thought the performance was certainly better than my previous exams. So there was a good feeling.

I can't seem to remember any other happenings from July 2008. If anything springs up, I'll add it.

What lies ahead . . .

Towards the end of the year 2008, I looked back and realised that there had been so many activities and developments since July. In this blog, I'd like to mention some of them. It can been seen in a way as a trailer for the reader and as a reminder for me.

July - the runaway leads to great disappointment and grief

- Renoy, an act apart - terrible performance, unconvincing as Priest

August - the retreat

- birth of the Talent nite

September - roller-coaster ride with practices

- harmonizing a bunch with no history in harmony

October - sheer despair

November - Family day celebrations

- Josh's arrival

December - Trivandrum celebrates Christmas in style

- Renoy meets Josh