Despair

October 2008 began on a note I had uptil then never experienced. I went through a week-long mix of sadness, loneliness, disappointment, anger (mild), detachment, dejection, and the like. I realized a lack of sense of purpose and initiative for any kind of work. Productivity hit an all time low. I knew all the while that post-Talent Eve 2008, I would go down into some kind of a mess; but never would I have guessed the intensity with which it hit me. You know, there was always some activity or the other which I immersed myself into during the weeks leading up to the the Talent Eve. Sometimes during those days, I would alert myself to find something significant to direct my energies so that the switch would not be bad. But I guess it was indeed a big deal to me (as it certainly was for many others also).

I did have the Pooja-holidays to look forward to. Earlier in some committee of the Youth League, I learnt of a picnic that was being scheduled for the Pooja-holidays. That would have been exciting. But somehow it got cancelled. I think there was some other activity lined up for the holidays instead. Also, after the Onam holidays, guys in my class started planning out a trip for the Pooja-holidays. I was looking forward to that too. Kiran (my classmate) was the man behind the trip. There was a division in opinion within the class. The plan was to cut (bunk) class a day or two before the holidays. There were some who couldn't join the group. So there would be a problem of some getting attendance and the others not. I so wanted to go as this could probably be the last time. By the end of September, there were around ten or so who joined the group. I wanted that everybody join and that we go together. But there were quite a lot who couldn't commit, which was disappointing. I decided to not go only because there were a lot who couldn't go due to various reasons. I told myself that the guys would have a good time and everything, but it wouldn't be as much as when the 52 of us go together. There were twenty-three of them eventually that made the trip. They came to known as Kirru's (Kiran's) 23. I think the places they went to included Ooty and Wayanad. They had a blast. We heard of it when we called them up on their trip. The pics they took also were cool. The rest of us wished we'd too had been with them.

Decision on higher studies (happened somehow) was taking shape. UK was the destination, and I needed to appear for the IELTS as part of the requirements. Headed to the Chopra's, Chalakuzhi. Ms Divya attended to me, and was very nice to me. I don't think I thought the IELTS to be a simple affair, which explained why I joined a 10-session preparatory class with her. The average performance in the mock test (which I think was fabricated) aided the decision. I wanted to appear in December for the test, and have my application(s) sent out in January. Classes began November. I started my alliance with the Chopra's in pursuit of the higher-studies goal.

Towards the end of the month (I guess) I had planned on conducting the S5 Moscars, which couldn't have been conducted before the S5 university-exams (should have been conducted ideally May-June). Sandeep wanted the certificate distribution of the (er., his) Mech Open to be held in conjunction with the S5 Moscars. So, this was to happen someday after class, of course. But on that day, during the lunch break, there was a fight that involved few of my classmates who were in the Civil Engg. building. It became ugly, as anyone would have expected, since it involved the senior-most Mechanical Engg. batch. Although we agreed that we got some, we certainly did give them more than they asked for. Mar Baselios College of Engg. and Tech. haven't witnessed much fights (I'm guessing, in our time, possibly, the number was less than 4). There was a heavy feeling during the hours after the lunch break. Sensing the possibility of the resuming of the fight at the end of the day, the Mechanical Engg. staff immediately diffused any kind of negative incidents. That was a precautionary step. The conducting of the Moscars was dropped, obviously. As I exited the campus, I saw coming towards the college gate the Civil Engg. guys along with what I thought to be goondas. One among them, the father of the main hit guy, on seeing Sabari (a classmate, and one of the lead guys in the fight) exploded. I'd never seen anybody go as wild. But even in the midst of this, Sabari seemed composed. This was a moment when all hell should have lost control. The tense situation was somehow put off (don't know how). Sabari did give back an adequate amount of reactionary dialogue. [One too many times, I'd seen a Mohanlal in Sabari. Not just a certain kind, but many kinds that he'd portrayed in the movies.] A day or two later, during the suspension meetings, I got to meet Sabari, and I expressed how amazed I was at his ability to handle that situation. I suppose it must have been his past and the experiences he's had. Few of the involved were suspended and some given lighter penalties. This incident told us to take greater caution in the future. Being final year students, it came hard on us. The issues died away somehow.

I'm assuming there wasn't anything else that mattered to be entered here. But the fight and the ensuing events were certainly stuff that will live with us.